When I Became a Father, I Started Understanding God Differently
Becoming a father changed the way I look at God. Not because God changed, but because for the first time, I began to understand something about fatherhood from the other side.
I changed my perspective on how to talk to God and how to live with Him after two things happened.
First, I became a father myself.
Second, I read this:
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!”
Matthew 7:11And suddenly, I began to see something I had never seen before.
God compared our fatherhood to His fatherhood.
When my Child was Born
When I became a father, something changed inside me.
Another human being was born who looked at me with admiration. In his little world, I was at the centre of everything.
I was his protector.
His provider.
His leader.
And probably, in his mind, almost everything.
You can see this clearly when a toddler walks with his father.
He doesn't care much about what is out there. He believes that nothing is stronger than his father.
It doesn't matter how big or scary something looks.
To him, Dad is stronger than that thing.
“Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Mark 10:15Look Closely at a Toddler
A toddler wakes up believing.
A toddler wakes up believing.
He eats. He plays. He sleeps.
He doesn't spend the morning wondering whether there will be food today. He doesn't calculate whether there is enough money for tomorrow's clothes. He doesn't sit down and ask himself whether there will still be a roof over his head next week.
Why?
He assumes his father has everything under control.
When something threatens him.
When something threatens a toddler, he may become afraid.
But what does he do?
He runs to his father.
His answer to the threat is not necessarily, “I can defeat this.”
His answer is:
“My dad is here.”
The greatest answer in a child's mindA toddler's love.
A toddler's love can be incredibly pure.
You can correct him. You can discipline him. He may become angry with you. He may cry.
But give him a little time, and he comes back.
He still wants to sit with you.
He still wants you.
He still loves you.
His relationship with you is bigger than the momentary pain of correction.
A toddler doesn't live in tomorrow.
A toddler doesn't spend his day worrying about tomorrow.
Why?
Because, in his mind, you will be there.
What If your Toddler starts asking you, the way you pray to God?
A toddler will rarely wake up every morning asking his father:
“Dad, will I eat today?”
“Dad, will I have clothes today?”
“Dad, will I have somewhere to sleep tonight?”
Imagine your toddler doing that every single day.
At some point, you would become deeply concerned.
Not because he asked for something wrong, but because his constant asking would reveal something much deeper:
He doesn't trust you.
You might even ask yourself:
“What have I done that has made my child doubt me this much?”
And then I started looking at my own prayers differently.
How much of what I ask God for is actually coming from a lack of trust?
How much of my prayer is asking God to provide what He has already promised to provide?
How much of it is me trying to convince God to take care of me?
And how much of it is simply me learning to trust my Father?
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ... For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.”
Matthew 6:31–32But Here Is the Problem With a Toddler
A toddler trusts his father deeply.
But he also has very little understanding.
Because of his limited knowledge and experience, a toddler can ask for many things that are not good for him.
Some things he doesn't need.
Some things may actually destroy him.
Some things are simply unnecessary.
And sometimes, even when he asks for something good, he is not old enough to have it yet.
That changes the way we understand prayer.
Sometimes God is not saying “no” because He doesn't love us.
Sometimes the answer is no because we are asking from the perspective of a child who cannot yet see what the Father sees.
A toddler may complain about things he doesn't understand.
Why must I sleep?
Why can't I go there?
Why can't I touch that?
Why can't I play with this?
Why must I stay here?
To the toddler, the father's restrictions may look like limitations on freedom.
But the father sees something the toddler cannot see.
Danger.
Where Are You in Your Faith?
This is where I started seeing different stages of spiritual maturity.
The Teenager
You think God's commandments are restrictive. You feel that God is cutting off your freedom and His boundaries are keeping you from enjoying life.
Independence without maturityThe Toddler
You have big faith, but constantly ask God for toys. When you don't receive them, you fast, cry, complain and weep.
Trust mixed with desireThe Adolescent
You ask God for something but have already decided that His answer must be yes. You reject correction because you have already determined what God must do.
Faith without surrenderThe Mature Child
You go to God with an open heart. You want to understand, but you are willing to receive yes, no, wait, or something completely different. His fellowship matters more than His gifts.
Trust beyond the answerBecause maturity does not mean that you stop asking your Father for things.
It means you begin to trust your Father more than you trust your own understanding.
Then I Started Understanding Jesus' Teaching on Prayer
“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.”
Matthew 6:5–6The more I grow in faith, the more I understand these words.
Without adding all the traditions we have built around prayer.
Jesus said what He said.
Go into your room.
Shut the door.
Talk to your Father.
It made me realize something:
Long prayer is not necessarily mature prayer.
Praying for a long time can simply mean that you are spending a long time communicating with God.
And that usually happens when there is a real relationship.
Think about your best friend.
When you genuinely have a relationship with someone, you don't need a special reason to talk.
You can sit together for hours.
You talk. You laugh. You discuss things. You share what is happening. You listen.
You don't need a list of requests to justify the conversation.
Relationship comes first.
And sometimes long prayer is simply the natural result of a deep relationship with God.
But What About Warfare Prayer?
Someone may say:
“But what about warfare prayers?”
“What about demolishing strongholds?”
“Don't we need to shout?”
And I would ask a simple question:
When a king gives an order to attack, does he need to shout?
No.
The effectiveness of the command does not come from how loudly the king speaks.
It comes from the authority behind the command.
The same principle should make us think carefully about prayer.
It is not the heaviness of your voice.
It is not the volume.
It is not how aggressively you scream.
It is the authority and power behind the command.
“Peace! Be still!”
Mark 4:39Jesus did not need to scream at the storm.
He simply spoke.
And the storm obeyed.
So perhaps we have sometimes confused volume with authority.
And perhaps we have confused length with intimacy.
And perhaps we have confused constant asking with faith.
So, Before You Pray...
I am learning to ask myself something before I pray for certain things:
Do I really need what I am asking for?
Or am I simply asking God to satisfy my desire?
Do I need the thing?
Or do I need to be freed from needing the thing?
Maybe sometimes the greatest answer to prayer is not God giving us what we asked for.
Maybe it is God changing us until we no longer need the thing we thought we could not live without.
Perhaps This Is What Maturity Looks Like
Because as I grow in faith, I am beginning to understand something about my Father.
I don't have to wake up every morning wondering whether He will still be my Father.
I don't have to convince Him to love me.
I don't have to convince Him to provide.
I don't have to convince Him to protect me.
I don't have to convince Him that I deserve His attention.
I am His child.
And perhaps this is what Jesus was trying to teach us when He taught us to pray:
“Our Father in heaven...”
Matthew 6:9Not merely: “Our Provider.”
Not merely: “Our Protector.”
Not merely: “Our Miracle Worker.”
Our Father.
Spiritual maturity is the journey from constantly asking,
```“Father, will You give me this?”
to eventually being able to say,
“Father, help me understand what I need,and if it's not good may the Holy Spirit point me towards what is good for me”
```Because the ultimate answer may not be getting everything we ask for.
The ultimate answer is knowing the One we are asking.
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